First I'll do the fries:
Grab as many potatoes as you have first cousins. Since I'm Mexican I have 14 potatoes. Cut the potatoes into FRY SHAPED pieces. Pour oil onto a baking sheet. The amount of oil should be equal to as many times you have masturbated today in tablespoons (I used 8 tbs). Actually just put enough oil to coat the entire bottom of the baking sheet. Dump the fries onto the sheet and stir them around so all 4 sides of the fries are coated in oil. Put some rosemary and salt on that shit. Let them cook in the oven at 350 for 15 min. Open oven and stir them around a bit. Then crank up the oven to 500 cause you are getting impatient and hungry as balls and you want that shit to be done MEOW!
While the fries are cooking it's time to do the Philly Cheese Steak part. What you will need. Cheese, Steak and Philadelphia. Actually you will need one onion, one bell pepper, a bag of Textured Vegetable Protein chunks (TVP) and a box of mushrooms. I buy the precut mushrooms cause I get contact dermatitis on my left hand when I touch fungus and also cause they are precut which caters to my lazy Mexicaness. Slice the onion and bell pepper and throw the mushrooms into a frypan and fry them. Next throw about one cup of TVP chunks into a bowl with some water and soy sauce. Put it in the microwave for 6 minutes and let it soak that shit up. After that shits done throw it in the frypan with some BBQ sauce and fry that shit. I pour some garlic powder, black pepper and cayenne pepper in that shit. Shit.
Bake the bread.
Dump all the things into the bread and grate some Follow Your Heart cheese on top. Some may tell you they spread vegenase on the bread, these people are a lil too extreme for me. But if you are into that shit then go for it.
Take the fries out of the oven.
Plate all that shit and reverse barf it before your friends realize you broke into their house to cook lunch while they were hungover.
Toilet rating: 5/5.
dis ones gud
ReplyDeletethanx. gonna put more EXPLOSIVE recipes on here cause I got tons up in the ol noggin
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to lie: you are savage in the kitchen. These were mmm...that was the first time I ate onions without vomiting!
ReplyDeletesavage in the kitchen, demon in the sack ;)
ReplyDeleteYum! I am definitely going to try this... I made potatoes and soyrizo the other day I thew in some jalapenos and bell peppers, matt was impressed. haha.
ReplyDeletefuck yes, soyrizo is up there on the turd scale. i think my next post is gonna be on that shit.
ReplyDeleteYes please, and write good instructions on the tofu part, thanks =)
ReplyDeleteP.s. I threw in the jalapenos cuz I ain't no bitch either.