NATIONAL VEGAN PIZZA DAY

This post is hella late cause it took me all fucking day to find an internet connection. Being a homeless vegan blogger is a rough lyfe. So my friend Gia and I went to Purgatory Pizza for Vegan Pizza day. I have not had Purgatory in years. I used to live right down the street from them in Boyle Heights and my ex and I would get hyphy at my old place and order Purgatory 2 min before they close. Half the time they would say no but I would get my hot ex to beg and she would always get her way. They absolutely loved us there. I called them and asked if they would deliver to my truck but they said no, so I had to drive there and eat INSIDE.

This is the first time I actually went inside. They have all this crappy preschool art all over the walls. You know when you go to a gallery and look around at the work and you say, "My fucking 4 year old cousin can paint better than this." Well the art in here I'm pretty sure is done by your 4 year old cousin, if not, by one of his stinky friends. The crappy Cat Cult mural outside is pretty bunk too. FUCK CAT CULT!!! I was a graff artist for years and I got fame for putting my NAME up on walls, not putting some dumbass kitty face that everyone is gonna love. Of course people love Cat Cult cause guess what internet? People love cats!!! I refuse to support art created for the least common denominator.

Okay I'll move on. So we ordered the "Spicy Chic" vegan pizza and guess what? They are out of the fucking chicken. We order the "Field of Dreams" pizza instead and they are out of artichoke hearts. We get mushrooms in their place. 20 dollarbux for a pizza is it worth it?

FUCK NO. They skimp super hard on ALL toppings. Look at the picture and count the toppings, we are averaging about 8 olives, 6 sausage slices, 2 spinach leaves, and 6 mushroom pieces per slice. I mean you would think they would go a little heavier cause you dropped 20 bux on a pie, but no. I imagine they can't cause their wimpy little dough will buckle under the weight. The dough is flat, flavorless and SUCKY.
The sauce is decent but nothing to rave about and they use Daiya cheese.

FUCK DAIYA! That shit gives me the shits. I don't know what is in it (probably secret unlisted casein) but EVERYTIME I eat it I get crazy Daiyarrhea (clever huh?). I like Follow Your Heart alot more. Maybe cause I'm from the old school or something but it just tastes better too. I mean it doesn't melt as well as Daiya but the way Daiya sticks to the roof of my mouth and to everything in general can't be healthy. So yeah...

The score: 2/5 Toilet Plunges. And my advice to them, don't be chunty with the toppings holmes. Piece.

Purgatory Pizza
1326 East 1st Street
Los Angeles, CA 90033