Thursday, March 10, 2011

GROUPER REUBEN

Yep. Can your feeble brains comprehend what is going on here? People have whispered about this in the dead of night, in forests far away from civilization, where naked witches dance by campfires. If you don't know what a Grouper or a Reuben is, there is this website called Google, it allows one to search words and find out what they are, try it out.

While searching for ingredients for this project I had to go to 3 different places. Well, I went to 2 places and Vanessa went to Jew Fudz to get the Daiya. I went to the Azn market to get the Grouper and all the old ping-pong ladies were giving me the stink eye, I'm pretty sure one of them spit on the ground next to me. I guess being hairy and mexican pisses them off. I went to the Ralfz afterward to get the rye bread, pickles, sauerkraut and mustard. The lady checking me out said, "Going to make some corn-beef sandwiches?" I'm assuming she thinks I'm jewi$h cause I totally look like a jew. I replied, nope gonna make a VEGAN GROUPER REUBEN. She had no idea what I said. Her feeble brain could not comprehend it either.

The fish I use for the Grouper is this Vegetarian Beancurd Pouch Fish. I like this fish cause it expires in September of 2016 and also cause it has a swastika on it. This neo-nazi superfish will survive the great world flood of 2012 while we drown in our own crapulence.


I marinade the Grouper in this special mustard sause for 6 hours. To make the marinade, mix horseradish mustard with Dijon. Add the spices in the photo and stir it around. Defrost the fish and brush the marinade on it. Leave the Grouper on the counter to marinade, trust me your cat knows it's not real fish, he wont eat it.


Next make the "secret" (thousand island) sauce for the sandwich. Mix your left over mustard with relish, ketchup and Vagina-aise.


 After the fish marijuana-ates for 6 hours you wanna fry it. Use a tiny bit of soy sawse or Braggs.


Cut up some onions and boomers and throw them in the frypan.


While it's cooking toast the bread, Put Vegenaise on it, secret sauce on the other side and add sauerkraut. I use Libby's sauerkraut cause it's named after my moms dog.


Put the cheese on the Grouper while it's cooking to let it melt a bit.


When the Grouper is done slice it and cram it between the bread slices then eat the living fuck out of it! I put some jew pickles on the side for TASTE.




1 comment:

  1. Wow! Looks incredibly delicious and your commentary was hilarious...

    ReplyDelete