Saturday, April 30, 2011

Aunt Marci's Apple Tree

So my aunt has an apple tree in her back yard. She also has grapes and kale and yams and other crap she grows. The apple tree has a bird feeder in it. The squirrels steal all the seeds out of it and live fat. There are no apples on the tree right now but she does have buckets of apple chips that are sitting around the house. I noticed I don't enjoy sweet snax unless I'm crazy high. So I been blazing with the old man and munching down on these things.

Like most people I'm sure you have apples sitting in the back of your fridge, getting old and mushy. Take them out now and dehydrate them. Core them, slice them into rings and pour some lemon juice on them. Then let them sit out on the porch for 3 days. If you want to speed up the process, put them in the oven and put the oven on as low as possible. Leave the door to the oven open. Cook them for a few hours. Add this shit to some nuts and make a fucking trail mix. Be creative.








Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Aunt Marci's Homemade Wine

My aunt makes wine. She grows her own grapes in the back yard and fucking mashes the shit out of them and makes some wine. Sometimes the wine is good, sometimes it's gross, but either way it will get you WASTED. Last year she didn't make wine 'cause my grandma died and the grapes just didn't grow that year.

She has a basement full of old wine, some from decades ago. I drank some of her dandelion wine the other day, it tasted like a really sweet sake mixed with yellow flavor Listerine. It got me buzzed. Back in LA I used to make cider, I haven't in a while because I been homeless. When I get back I'm gonna make some cider using food stamps to buy the apple juice. Way to bypass the system, go me!

Here are some pictures of my aunt's basement wine cellar.





Friday, April 22, 2011

Ground Kontrol Portland OR

This place fucking rules. I went in on the free play night which means you pay $5.00 to get in and you get to play video games all night for free. I went in around 8:30, bought a cider and played video games for a bit till my homies showed up.

The games are pretty good, a bunch of pinball and 80's games then some newer ones like DDR, Street Fighter 3rd Strike and House of the Dead. I played mostly SF and got rocked hard for various excuses. Also have a standalone Dr. Mario that is 2 players.

I ordered the chili dog with cheese. It was pretty good considering it was only 4 dollarbux.

4/5 Plunges




Thursday, April 21, 2011

;)

Portland has these Tim's BBQ funions, eat them.


Sushiville

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Bye and Bye PDX Vacation

Was heading back from Union Station. Just picked up Gia from the Greyhound. Wanted to get some fast gUrb before I went back to my aunt's basement to take a nap. Stopped at Bye and Bye cause Yelp suggested it. I'ts like the internet read my mind. This place has some really good vegan junk/garbage. Got the Grilled Cheese which is made with cheddar Daiya and Gia got the MeaFball sub. Food was awesome and drinks were cheap. Gia pulled the ol' Roy Rogers spike and saved us 3 bux.

4/5 Plunges

 






Friday, April 15, 2011

Ballet Vietnamese Seattle

I took some molly before I went into eat at this place. It hit me as soon as the food got to us. Courtland ordered the Fake Beef Sandwich, Sam ordered the Mock Chicken Pho, Harley got the Mock Chicken Sammitch and I got the Vermicelli Bowl with Mock Chicken. This food was bomb, straight up. Maybe it was because I was rollin, but everyone else confirmed the deliciousness of their dish.

After I payed the bill I went in the restroom and stroked off. I went 6 days on this tour without pounding off and after taking the molly I couldn't keep it in any more.

4/5 Plunges










Thursday, April 14, 2011

Cyber-Dogs

This place was on the top of my list of places to grub in Seattle. So half of The Shrine and I went to cram-jam some hoitdorgs down our face-sphincters. Courtland and Samantha shared the Wiener Dog Schnitzel and I grabbed one of those too. What I really wanted was the Chicago Style dog but they were out of the crap to make it with. I also ordered the Clam Chowder.


I hate trash talking places (actually I love it) but this place was really fucking up. Our food took 45 minutes to get to us and we happened to be the only people there. Apparently the health inspector was giving them crap, we just happened to be there at the same time. The lady working there was nice enough, but the service was inexcusable. The dogs were just Tofurkey dogs slathered in sauerkraut on a whole wheat bun, nothing to rave about. The clam chowder was awful. I added a crap ton of salt for FLAVOR until it finally became palatable. The "clams" were just Farfalle pasta and the chowder base was sweet soy milk. 


Harley ordered a Chilidog with Avocado and Ashton ordered a dog with vegetable. Harley gave me a bite of his dog and it was delicious. The vegetables on Ashton's dog were zucchini and some other crap. It looked pretty grode-mode.


I don't want to shit-talk too much so I'll give this place 2/5 plunges. 
Step-up your game Cyber-Dogs