Bak in Cali: Pesto-garlic Fart-a-ganza

So a lot has been going on in my life. I just got back from almost 3 months of vacation. SoCal weather is so freaking nice. Portland was too wet, Iceland too cold and New York too humid. I just want to kick it by the pool at my moms house all summer but I have to get my LosAngelesSwimmin on. I also have zero dollars to my name and am living solely off EBT. So you won't be seeing many restaurant reviews on here, just homebrewed food concoctions, lest one of you fine sirs/madams wants to take a crumb-bum out on a dinner date ;)

Here is a recipe I came up with the night I got back to my moms house. I had some leftovers sitting in my chili pot so I used up all my old food. My mom has a basil plant in the backyard that she never uses so I decided to make PPP (pesto and penne pasta).

Grab some basil from the backyard.

Get some pine nuts, olive oil, garlic and cocaine. 

Throw a cup of fresh basil, 1/4 cup of pine nuts, 3 ears of garlic, 4tbs olive oil and blend in the food processor. Then add 2 tbs nutritional yeast, I mean cocaine. Blend some more.

It should come out looking like this.

Of course you were boiling your pasta this whole time. I use brown rice pasta 'cause I'm trying to cutback on my glootin intake. The trick with brown rice pasta is to rinse the living fuck out of it. Imagine that scene in Pulp Fiction when Vince and Jules blow off Marvin's head in the car and Harvey Keitel has to wash them down with the hose at Quentin Tarantinos house. Yeah, take the pasta out front and wash it off with cold-ass rubber tasting hose water. Then plate it.

 

Dice up a few tomatoes that are starting to get moldy.

RBFL (Reverse Barf For Lyfe)

I hope yall enjoyed the crappy pictures 'cause there aint gonna be no more. I got an iphone so VBE will be on par with all the other fancy vegan blogs on the interwab (that's internet for beaners). Good to be back home.