Saturday, August 27, 2011

House of Thai Taste

Alrighty, Thai Taste is right next to Sludge Mansion in Mar Vista, I would order this shit ALL THE TIME when I was hungover. They would continue to deliver to us even though our dog Buddy would bark the crap out of them and I would ALWAYS show up to the door in my chonies. I had exclusively got delivery from there and I figured it would be a good idea to go eat inside one time.

Luckily I was on a date with a hot girl who was house sitting a place walking distance to the restaurant. We drank a glass of Makers on the rocks and headed over there.


This place serves MEAT, but they know how to make vegan shit without fish jizz in it. I ordered the Mixed Vegetables with Black Mushrooms and added fried tofu to it, the girl ordered some un-fake chicken curry. We also got some beer while we waited for our food to arrive. 


I really dig Thai food, maybe it's white guilt for killing a bunch of them in NAM that makes the food taste so good, I honestly don't know. My dish was amazing, very subtle flavors, mildly spiced without a hint of fish pus. The one thing that was wrong was it had baby corn in it. Something so creepy about baby corn, I have scale issues that play a weird role in my dreams and memory, must be the sculptor in me I guess. After dinner we sat in the jacuz and finished off the entire bottle of Makers. Fun times.






4/5 Plunges



House of Thai Taste 
12824 Venice Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA 90066

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Soyrizo Stuffed Chayote, Mexican Rice and Cucumber Salad

It is a rare occasion that I feel both creative AND ambitious, this is one of those occasions. I bought these chayotes last week and was searching for some recipes online so I could eat these fuckers. Everything was like salad this and soop that. I am not a 90 lb girl with daddy issues, I am a full grown beaner with an insatiable hunger for shit, so this soup/salad crap was not gonna do it for me. About 6 pages in on google I found a recipe for chorizo stuffed chayote, this was the lead I was looking for. 

I went through the fridge and picked out whatever garbage I had left to make this taste good. I found half an onion, half a package of soyrizo, some red chilies my mom grew in the garden and some garlic. I wanted a yummy side dish so I found some brown rice I had left over from stir fry the other day and a cucumber. It was time to begin.

 This is the crap you will need.

 Cut the chayote in half.

 Boil the chayote for 20 min..

 While that shits boiling dice half an onion, deseed the chili and dice it and chop up some garlic.

 Shave down your cucumber (for the ladies).

Dice the cuke.

Cut the lemon in half for the cucumber salad.

 Now drain the boiling water and rinse the chayote with cold water. Use a spoon to dig out the innards of the chayote.

Save the innards because they are gonna go in the frypan with the soyrizo.
 Saute the onion/chili/garlic.

 Toss in the chayote innards.

 Add garlic salt and cayenne pepper.

 Stir that shit around.

 Add the soyrizo, remember Plessy V Ferguson.

 Mix it all together after the soyrizo is crusty-brown.

 Now fill the chayote with all that crap you just fried. Throw it in the oven at 375 for 20 minutes. While it's baking do the dishes, walk the dog or dl porn or something.

 I topped it with some cut up slices of tofutti cheese and let it melt. The cucumber salad is just cukes with lemon juice, black pepper and salt. The mexi-rice is just brown rice with salsa thrown in it and fried. 

Make sure you get a really good tan before you eat this. MEXICANS ONLY!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Disco Fries

Hello everyone, welcome back. In this episode of Vegan Butthole Exxxplosion I will be making a dish that I found while traveling abroad in New York. This dish is called Disco Fries. Disco Fries are French Fries topped with Cheese and Gravy.

The story behind Disco Fries goes something like this: Everyone used to be so hungover in the 70's, the only thing that would cure these brutal coke-binging rollerskating John Holmes penis induced hangovers is grease. Supposedly some asshole in Quebec created this, but there is no way in shit that those mounty hat-wearing moose-fucking hosers came up with this exquisite, gut-raping dish. I'm pretty sure it was some dude in New York that accidentally dropped a can of gravy and Cheese Wiz on some fries while he was drunk.

Whatever, so here is VBE's take on this traditional dish.

 You will need one half onion.

Olive oil, vegetable broff and margerine.

  Soy sawze, oregano, garlic salt and black pepper.

 A bag of really crappy meth.

 A tub of high grade cocaine.

Something that looks like weed.

I'm an idiot and forgot to take a picture of the mushrooms but you will need that too. Dice one package of white button mushrooms and half the onion. Saute it in a sause pan with 1tbs olive oil and 1tbs margarine. Add black pepper and let it cook down.

Add the entire can of vegetable broth and sift in 1 cup of flour. Add a pinch of salt, oregano, garlic salt and rosemary. Add 2tbs soy sauce and stir. Let it simmer while you make the cheese sauce.

Cheese sause is 1/2 cup water, 1/2 cup non vanilla soy milk, 1 cup nutritional yeast, 1/2 cup flour, 1tbs margerine and 1tbs salt. Whisk it on low till it gets thick and frothy.

 Cut up some potatoes and bake them with a little bit of olive oil.

 Pour the gravy first then the cheese sause.

Reverse barf, enjoy.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Cinnamon Vegetarian Restaurant

Okay, I haven't been here in years. I used to go all the time with my exTina when I lived in El Sereno but those days are long gone. I was meeting up with Gina to get a few drinks before I headed to Kelly's birthday party. Since we were in Highland Park and I hadn't eaten DICK all day, we stopped at Cinnamon. 
Cinnamon, or Sim-meow-meow as my cat would pronounce it, is a little place right off Figueroa. It's run by a bunch of old mexican ladies that look like my grandma. In fact, I'm pretty sure I called them grandma once when I was drunk and they got weirded out. They make mexican food just like I would if I had my own restaurant. All the food here is authentic mexican dishes with fake meat instead of old school meat.
Gina got the Green Chicken Enchiladas with black beans and mexican rice. I got the Super Burrito with carne asada. I asked for it WET like your moms va-jean. 
The food here is always decent, the service kinda sucks though. They don't really wait on you hand and foot and it can be difficult to get your check when you are through eating. Also one time we had the stamp card and we were on our last stamp before the free meal and those old bitches took the card away and never gave us the free food. I'm pretty sure it was just a language issue, but still, those hos owe me a free breet!


4/5 Plunges







Cinnamon Vegetarian Restaurant
5511 North Figueroa Street, Los Angeles, CA 90042

Saturday, August 6, 2011

PUMP SAWSE

Well it seems like Del Taco finally got all my letters and emails about dispensing Del Scorcho from a fountain instead of the packets. Well the packets still exist, but now they have a PUMP for that shit.

Just randomly went in to get a breet breet today and, lo and behold, my mind was BLOWN. The pump finally exists. I used to have dreams of it existing, and now it does!

I'm just estimating here but, since I was a little crumb cruncher, I want to say I have gone through about 30,000 Del Scorcho packets or at least enough to fill Dodger Stadium twice. Think of all that waste.

Hypothetically speaking, if there are 7 billion people on the planet, and every person eats one packet of Del Scorcho a day. That is two trillion five hundred fifty-five billion packets of hot sauze a year. Enough to fill Dodger Stadium like, 3 times.

Thank you Del Takka for helping the planet heal and for keeping it real.

Now everyone go get your nalgene bottles and fill them up with Del Scorcho and shotgun that shit!

<3