Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Cafe Amborisa

In today's episode of VBE, I will be reviewing a quaint little place called Cafe Ambrosia. I was lucky enough to take a firme internet jina out on a lunch date. She suggested this place cause it's in Long Beach, the city where she's from, dum-ditty-dum.

I drove into the ghet-ghet of LBC to pick this girl up. I got shot at about 600 times while waiting for her to come down from her apartment. The second she got up in da G-ride it started to rain. Supposedly today was gonna be the record breaker for hottest weather in Long Beach, but when a super-fly, dope-ass, real-time beaner like me rolls up to the hood, the fury of NATURE has got my back.

We drove to the place and parked RIGHT OUT FRONT, it's like they KNEW we were coming and saved us the spot. Homegirl wanted to smoke a fag so we hung out on the sidewalk while she did. Ten seconds after she lit up, it began POURING rain. It's like god wanted us to hurry and cram our faceholes.

Inside we were the only people besides a group in the corner chattin it up. Taryn ordered a mimosa which she told me to write on here is ONLY $1.99 ALL DAY EVERY DAY. I got a Stella cause I have some Scandinavian in my shlong. We ordered a burger with fries and hummus with pita bread. I also got another Stella and she got a couple more mimosaz.

This place is not 100% vegan, in fact they serve meatz. But they do have a vegan menu with a buncha crap. I got the burger and fries but I was eying the LOAF. Nothing sounds more tempting in my mind than LOAVES. But I went with the burg cause I needed the carbs from the bread.

The patty was lentil.

Everyone knows I'm not a lentil fan, this patty did not attempt to persuade me to be in any way. It was soggy, crumbly and flavorless. The fries were good though. Taryn didn't eat much of the hummus. I assumed it was because it was too garlicky or she was maintaining her feminine figure. Both reasons imply that she was trying to impress me.

After we ate lunch we walked around the park, she smoked while I called people for drugs. We watched some kids skate and exchanged stories about crud that happened in our lives.

This place gets an extra plunge cause they have cheap drinks.

3/5 Plunges









Cafe Amborisa
923 East Broadway
Long Beach, CA 90802-3928
(562) 432-1098

3 comments:

  1. So....Ambrosia is rill good, except they have lots of birds that fly around, and one time Volk's menu had bird shit on it. I used to be able to walk there from my old house, which is the main reason I ate there. Try Open Ses the next time you're in tha LBC.
    - Erica M Diamond

    ReplyDelete
  2. bird poop rulzzz!!! they also had these HUGE ASS koi fish bumper boating into each other. I been to open ses but I wanted to try something different.

    ReplyDelete
  3. We used to go there when it was walking distance from our apartment. They used to give hummus and pita for free when you first walked in! It was delicious, but that place changed owners and the food started sucking, so we stopped going. If your in Long Beach ...Zephyr, Magic Lamp, Open Sesame, and Coco Renos have way better vegan food!

    ReplyDelete