Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Doomies Home Cookin

Word up buttholes! Today I will be reviewing a little joint called Doomies. Doomie had a place back in the day in Chinatown but lost the spot because of some sort of government bullshit. You know bustin down vegan restaurants is #1 on the gov'mints to-do list next to eating balls and killing coloreds. Since that Chinatown place closed, Doomies was a catering only gig then he got the new spot in Hollywood.

The new place is in a shithole strip mall near a Winchell's and an El Pollo Loco. Luckily Doomie chose to open up his restaurant in the shittiest part of town to swoop in on that hooker and crackhead demographic. Mel and I parked in the parking lot which had many spots available. We walked in and the place was how I imagined it, like a penguin with a sunburn or a nun on the rag.

Aesthetics aside, the food and service were wonderful. The thing I recall about the old place was the food took forever to get to the table. This time the food came out promptly and the wait staff was polite and observant.

We split the nachos. Since this place serves un-fake cheese we got it with the vegan cheese. It was not tasty. The cheese was flavorless, the ground beef was not even cooked and the chips were unsalted. This is the only crappy part of the review. Now onto the good stuff.

I got the Pot Roast with the daily soup and french fries ('cause they were out of mushded patatoeszes). The soup was the Hotchpot, basically everything that is vegan in the entire world put into one soup. It was surprisingly delicious. The Pot Roast was Gardein Beef Tips (hahahah, Beef Tips) in gravy with carrots, potatoes, celery and onions. It was fucking awesome. It came with a biscuit too.

Melissa got the Chicken Fingers. Battered, breaded, deep-fried deliciousness about the length and girth of a Weimaraner's pink thing. She got the BBQ sawse for some godforsaken reason, even though you can get it with vegan ranch. They were groin-grabbingly transcendent.

After we paid the bill we drove down Sunset and threw water balloons full of pee at the kids standing in line for the Nickelodeon Studio. Get used to it chumps, life is rough.

4/5 Plunges











Doomies Home Cooking
1253 N Vine st, #9
Hollywood, CA 90038
(714) 883-7657

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Zen Vegetarian Restaurant Westminster

Hello retards, welcome back to Vgun Bhole XXXplosion. In this update I will be reviewing a little place called Zen Vegetarian Restaurant. 


This place must have showed up in the past year or so, I don't recall ever seeing or hearing about it. There used to be a little vegan cafe back in the day off of Bolsa near the railroad tracks that I swore was called Zen, but it may have been called something else. I remember it being owned by Wah Ching or the Asian Boyz or someone sketchy. THIS IS NOT THE SAME PLACE THOUGH.


Zen is you typical Vietnamese vegetarian restaurant with the exception of the Chinatown Express precooked sneeze-guard food. Since we parked in the 30 minute loading zone we went with the deli case food. 

Bad choice.

This food was not hot, it was not even room temperature, in fact, I think they had an old, dead farting mummy underneath it attempting to keep it warm with its boner. Since I could not understand a WORD the lady was saying, I'm gonna take a wild guess at what we ordered. 


Both Banessa and I got the 3 item combo plate with rite wice. I got the Whoopi Goldberg Dreads with Zombie Whale Dick and Dog Barf. Ness-ness also got the Dog Barf but with Terminator 2 Poop and Octopus Foreskin. Both plates were $5.99 with taxxx.

I'm not gonna be a total dick about this review but the food was pretty awful. I mean it may have possibly tasted good had it been warm, but it wasn't. The Terminator 2 Poop was literally the grossest thing I have put in my mouth in the past year (except maybe your mom's slop hole). The service was non-existent, in fact, they put us in the Crepe restaurant next door back in the Creep Corner. I hate giving bad reviews, but this place is definitely a 1.5 on the plunger scale. 


My Zen advice, make your food taste better.

1.5/5 Plunges










Zen Vegetarian Restaurant
9325 Bolsa Ave
Westminster, CA 92683