I was searching for Tofurkey but when I opened the freezer case I saw they had Match Meat Premium Vegan Stuffed Holiday Roast. My balls dropped, I knew I was in love. I bought the meat sack with my EBT card and drove way over the speed limit back to The Hub to start cooking this bad boy.
I chose to make this roast with a bunch of vegetables and gravy. I threw some carrots, potatoes, sweet potatoes, celery, asparagus, mushrooms, garlic and squash in with that shit. The gravy is made with mushrooms, garlic, margarine, flour and water. Melissa made a pot pie which had crumbled up Boca Burger meat, peas, carrots, corn and potatoes. My rectum was clenched the entire time it was in the oven, I wanted to face-cram that shit so bad I couldn't wait.
The food was so fucking good, Melissa can pot a good pie. I'm sold on the Match Meat Turkey, they definitely know how to match my meat, but in all honesty, Tofurkey is still the owner of my heart. So many years of Tofurkey roasts and leftover turkey sandwiches, I think I like it more for nostalgic reasons than for taste. Both fake meats make my butthole shoot streams of rrhea, but Match definitely tastes better with more of a fake turkey texture.
Here are the recipes for everything above: Buy food, cook it, eat it.
POTTED PIE
TURKEY, VEGETABLES GRAVY
THE REVERSE BARFENING
You drink coors? Bah! Go GMO corn brah!! drink better beer dude!
ReplyDeleteThere is also some Highlife in there. I do brew my own beer/cider which is awesome, what have you done lately?
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