Champs, Williamsburg

Okay, so I never went to Champs when I lived in NY cuz apparently their food sucks and is expensive. Well this is what Vanessa told me when I first moved there, so I found it funny when she asked if I wanted to go there for brunch. I was visiting for just three weeks and we went to brunch at Champs every Sunday I was there.

Champs is basically high school but with food. It's super cliquey with everyone staring you down if you don't know anyone who works there. Tons of Vanessa's vegan straightedge friends go there and you must be super hip to get in. Every Sunday we waited over and hour for brunch and it was cold as shit out most of those mornings. All the chicks that work there are total babes that you would blow a giant load on within seconds if you put it in them, but they wont let you put it in them unless you sing for a hardcore band. So instead you just think of them while pounding your meat and crying cuz you're balding and fat and stinky and hairy and Mexican.

The food here is fucking amazing. The portions could be bigger and they could give you better sides than salad and other rabbit food type crap. Jake got the Tofu Benedict, Vanessa got Biscuits and Gravy, Katie got the All Vegan Slam, Mar got the Croque Monsieur, Scott also got a Benedict and I got a Monte Christo. All the food is groin-grabbingly puke-tastic. Their Gravy and Hollandaise sawse is top tier. I could beer bong and entire gallon of that shit and sit around playing video games all day with zero regret.

4/5 Plunges

Champs Diner
176 Ainslie St (between Lorimer St & Manhattan Ave)
Brooklyn, NY 11211