So last monf Melissa and I went to Oahu to visit Jen and Kaipo. We got tickets for hella cheap and had a free place to stay so, like the compulsive assholes we are, we took off for 2 weeks in paradise.
They picked us up at the airport on Sunday and drove us back to their place, but not before a pit stop at Zippy's. We were pretty out of it from all the xanax and booze needed for our grueling 6 hour flight, so my gut/butt needed some poop-fuel. Kaipo raves about Zippy's chili, so much so that he moved back to Oahu just to be close to it. Zippy's is basically the Hawaiian equivalent of Denny's, but without the racism. The servers are all mokes that will spit in your food if you are a haole, but luckily we were dining with Kaipes who is 69th generation Hawaiian and everyone on the island respects him.
I got the vegetarian chili which comes with a side of rice, everyone else at the table got unvegan crap. The chili is butt-rific. It's up there with any of the best chili's I've had in my life, and the best part is they put mushrooms in it. After eating my bowl I ordered a gallon tub of chili to go and went back to Jen and Kaipo's place. Melissa massaged my butt while I reverse barfed the entire gallon. Needless to say Kaipo had to call a plumber the next morning, the Hawaii Sewage Department had to close all the beaches on the north shore cuz the water was contaminated. This was real crappy because the Pipelayer Masters surfing competition was going down that day. Kelly Slater can lick my sack.
4/5 Plunges
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