VEGAN BUTTHOLE EXPLOSION: Hiking Hawaiian Cafe, Oahu

Fuck, I have a headache and I'm hungry as shit. Writing blogs before I get up in the morning is total dogballs. So this post is about a place called Hiking Hawaiian in Waikiki, it's a small cafe right in the touristy part of town. In fact, the only reason we went there was cuz it was next to the hotel we stayed at our last night in town. It popped up on Yelrp when I searched vegan so we checked it out right before our flight shuttle picked us up.

This place didn't have many vegan options, in fact the only vegan thing they had on the menu was the pizza I got. It was a quinoa pizza with beans and other crap on it. A very bold move if I say so myself. I love pizza and hate quinoa so I was really in a deep quandary this time, but I went for it. To be honest (like I'm never not) it was pretty awful. The only saving grace was their hot sause collection. Only after dumping 3 gallons of Puckered Starfish Inferno Blast brand hot sawze on my pizza was I able to eat the rest of it. I would not recommend this place to anyone living or dying.

The only upside of going to this place was it sparked an entrepreneurial impulse to start my own place. Hiking Hawaiian is a place where a hiking company begins its meetups, they carb down hella hard then drive off to go huff it up some canyon. Since most of you know me from my other blog Losangelesswimmin.com you are aware of how much I love hiking/camping/cliff jumping and generally unsafe outdoor activities. Well, cuz of Hiking Hawaiian Cafe I am in the process of merging my love for food with my love for the outdoors, and you all know how creative my mind is, so expect something really awesome in the near future. I'm thinking like swim-up vegan pizza hut behind a waterfall with Old English 800 on tap and a dog karaoke night.

Love you all, 2/5 plunges.