Sunday, June 15, 2014

Town Pizza Highland Park

Just got back from this place. Sunday night 7pm and the line was out the door. No more wiggers and esses like Italianos used to be, straight beards and moustaches like a gentrified neighborhood should look. I got the VEGAN slice, it has Daiya on it. I love spots that slather their vegan pizza in that shit. Other places have "vegan" slices and they are just cheeseless cardboard triangles that taste like dog balls, this place has the real deal.

I for one enjoy the gentrification, I'm half mexican but full vegan. So stoked to have a vegan pizza place within walking distance. With a line out the fucking door they are already doing better business than Italianos and they haven't even been open for a week. Also hot chicks working there are a plus, they can take my order anytime, if you know what I mean ;)

They sell pizza by the slice and they have more than one vegan option, they obviously know how to get my attention.

5/5 Plunges




Town Pizza
5101 York Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90042

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Vegan Pizza Garden Grove

Sup pimps, playas and hustlas? Tonight I will review a place in Garbage Grove called Vegan Pizza. Of course most of you know that vegan pizza is my favorite thing in the universe; better than blowjobs, better than heroin, even better than taking that first huge dump when you wake up in the morning. So why does a place called Vegan Pizza exist in the city I grew up in? Because the world is a fucked up place. If this place was around when I was a teenager I would have single-handedly made them billionaires. I used to drink 40s in the drainage ditch right down the street from this place, I even got arrested for truancy right on the corner of Chapman and West. Going back to this area brought back some serious memories.

As for the food, well they have all the crap you would get at a carnival: corn dogs, pizza, buffalo wings, burgers. I wanted to order everything on the menu but I didn't want to look like King Chub, so I got a corn dog, the buffalo wings and a snausage n cheese calzone. The cron dog was great, just like I remember them, warm, thick, salty, veiny and full of semen. The buffalo wings were a disappointment, they were just regular Gardein frozen chicken wings with a side of hot sauze. The calzone on the other hand was heaven on earth. It's like Jesus came down, touched my penis and gave me an exquisitely huge boner for 7 days and 7 nights. When I die bury me with a calzone and a bottle of Evan Williams. Great food and the price is decently cheap.
3/5 Plunges.
 





Vegan Pizza
12022 Chapman Ave
Garden Grove, CA 92840
(714) 750-8686

Thursday, May 1, 2014

ADAMA VEGAN COMFORT CUISINE SANTA BARBARA

Sup crudlords, today I am reviewing Adama which is this vegan spot in SB. What was I doing in SB? Well you have every right to ask, no I wasn't skating the skatepark and no I wasn't headed to the hot springs, I was filming my homie D's wedding. Yeah, we all know how I feel about marriage, but I do like getting paid to drink champagne and perv on desperate women. So here is where we are.

After the wedding we crashed the bride and groom's hotel room and watched them pork, then we went out for breakfast the next morning. Adama's menu looked appetizing, a bunch of vegan junk crap that I would normally make at the house, but I wasn't near the house so I had to spend ten times as much for someone else to make it. I got the Chilaquiles which were not too great, they had green sauze instead of the normal red kind and it tasted like it came right out of the can. The tortillas were extra soggy like diapers, which I do enjoy, so plus one for that. Melissa got the Nachos which she described as "disgusting," but she only said this cuz she compares all nachoes to my glorious homemade nachos which make the world go 'round. I personally enjoyed them, good amounts of crud on top, the gwak seemed like it came out of a bag though, it still had the seam from the bag embedded in it. The cashew cheese jizz that they made was very tasty, although the consistency was that of breast milk, but hey, some people like that sorta stuff. We also got some french fried potatoes which you Americans call french fries, they were awesome.

All and all I'd say it was a good morning, our bill wasn't too expensive and I wasn't too hungover. I did destroy their bathroom before we left, it was a very fancy restroom with multiple crap stalls and the overhead flush panels like in Europe. But did I actually flush? Tune in next time to find out...

3/5 Plunges






Adama Vegan Comfort Cuisine
428 Chapala St, Santa Barbara, CA 93101
(805) 560-1348